Celebrity Cruises Review: 2/5
- Celebrity’s reputation in the travel industry is that of a premium line. They are known for offering excellent food and a sophisticated experience.
- Between all of us at Far Far Away Travels, we sailed Celebrity twice recently. Once on the Constellation, one of the older ships in the fleet, and once on the Silhouette, which is closer to the middle of the age range.
- Everything I’d heard about the line was such a mismatch with my experience, I thought that I’d entered an alternate universe.
Growing up, I had a lot of truly wonderful influences in my life. My parents and grandparents gave me some early lessons that I still follow. Two of them guide me every day.
The first is to, “Just try it.” I was always told to try new dishes or new activities to see if I like it. I never had to finish anything I didn’t like, but I did have to try it. It’s made me an adventurous person with an open palette – something that I cherish.
The second is, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Now I admit, this one is oppressively midwestern. I may as well have thrown a “don’t cha know” in to cap it off. That said, I do try to avoid saying something is bad if it simply isn’t to my tastes, which is really the spirit of the lesson.
The elegance presented to us.
This time, though, I must eschew the rule of nicety, because after I tried Celebrity, I have genuine concerns. Especially regarding their famed food.
As with all my reviews, I try to be as transparent as possible. I am not a travel agent, but my wife Nichole is. When Nichole and I sailed the Constellation, we did not reveal that fact to any staff onboard the ship, nor did we receive any additional benefits because of it. When Gretchen and Karen, who are travel agents here at Far Far Away, sailed on the Silhouette, it was on a special travel agent familiarization and education cruise. Most of what will be discussed is from my perspective and experience on the Constellation, since I’m the one writing this.
During the voyage on the Constellation, Nichole and I sailed in Concierge class, which we paid full price for. When Gretchen and Karen sailed the Silhouette, they were given an upgrade to Aqua class because there was an issue with their original room, what that issue was is unknown. In both cases, the itineraries sailed were not unique and were part of their typical sailing routine.
First Impressions
My seven night cruise on the Constellation, known as “Conny” by the Celebrity afficionados, left from Tampa Bay. Having not sailed from Tampa previously, I was happily impressed by the navigability of the city – at least near the port. There are plenty of hotels within walking distance to the port, and nice places at that. I know that’s not strictly a Celebrity feature, but sailing out of Tampa did prove to be better than Miami, something that some people may appreciate.
It was a cloudy day in Tampa, but the city is nice. Traffic was WAY better than Miami.
The terminal we were docked at didn’t appear to be bespoke with Celebrity, but the staff seemed to have things in hand. The baggage handoff to the porters went smoothly, although we did print the cabin information and already had the bags tagged, so that helps. The terminal isn’t large, so we didn’t have a hard time finding anything and easily made our way up to the staging area for boarding.
This is where we run into our first problem with the line. There are multiple ways to attain early boarding on Celebrity and they have a tiered system that comes along with it. First on board are the suites, which is typical across lines. Then there are the guests who have purchased Premiere Access, which is a package that affords you premium Wi-Fi, unlimited room service delivery at no charge, an exclusive boarding day lunch, and early boarding. Last is the Concierge rooms, which get the early boarding as part of their cabin class.
We purchased Premiere Access and we booked a Concierge cabin. In their boarding group process, Premiere Access guests board before Concierge and even have their own carve out area in the boarding “holding pens.” We stated multiple times and showed evidence that we had Premiere Access, yet we were pushed to the Concierge waiting area. I can’t say it really bothers me, since there’s hardly anything to do on the ship at a boarding time of 10:30 (most stations aren’t ready for guests yet), and the rooms aren’t usually prepared either, but the fact remains that we paid for something that we did not receive, and the staff actively turned us away from it.
The suite guests got a small breakfast offering with some pastries. Staff actually told us that it wasn’t good food though.
Being unfamiliar with Celebrity’s boarding process, I have nothing to compare with, but other guests were complaining about, what they viewed as, disorganization. To my eyes, it seemed like the staff were mostly prepared, but somewhat flustered. I am well aware that many guests on cruise ships see complaining as an Olympic sport, so I’m not sure how much weight to give to their protestations. It wasn’t a complete mess, but within 10 minutes of stepping into Celebrity’s world, I had been denied a feature I paid for.
Other than those points of contention, the boarding process went rather smoothly. We were all given clear instructions, and the staff wrangled pushy guests with aplomb. No one was allowed to line jump or push their way ahead, which I think deserves praise. I know that my English and German friends can appreciate line (queue) cutters being put back in place.
Once on the ship, we made our way to the room to drop our bags off. When we arrived, our cabin steward was still preparing the space, so we just dropped our carry-on onto the small desk and let him get back to it. For the purpose of clarity, I didn’t expect the room to be ready and our steward didn’t mind when we set our things down and out of his way. Now unburdened with bags, we toured the ship, and I took the opportunity to photograph the public spaces with minimal guests.
There were lots of spaces like this on the ship. They were quite nice to sit in and chat for a bit.
Overall, the public spaces on the ship were quite nice. The Constellation had recently been refurbished, with a focus on common areas. The décor is one of rich, warm tones. Dark stained wood is the theme, and throughout the ship it creates many cozy spaces that a group could spend hours playing games or chatting. The various lounges are best described as a mix of martini and cigar bars in their feel, but there’s no cigar smoking outside of designated areas.
A small, but pleasant, library with a well-equipped computer area, if you needed a computer but didn’t have internet on your own, sits in the middle of the ship. The spa and gym are on the second highest deck at the fore. A full basketball court takes up an odd area on top deck and I’m not sure that guests knew it was there because I only saw people using it once. At the rear of the ship there is a gathering area around a massive television – in the late 90s when these ships were commissioned, this would have been impressive, but it’s rather sad looking now.
The two pool areas looked quite nice, especially the Solarium space, but the outdoor “running track” was a low point. It is nothing more than a painted path, weaving through lounge chairs and, in a design twist that I assume David Lynch would have found amusing, goes right through the smoking area. It’s worth noting that the al fresco cancer lounge was a space heavily used by the guests, which is to say, I wouldn’t recommend a jog.
This image is taken from the smoking area, I’m surrounded by it.
Back inside the ship, we found lovely artwork peppered throughout. Sculptures in the stairways, paintings on the walls, and statues in the foyer made for an elegant feel. This art was no commercialized imitation either, we spotted a Lichtenstein print in the lobby/atrium. Genuinely, I enjoyed seeing a wide variety of artistic talents. It wasn’t quite like visiting MOMA, but it was a step above the typical décor on a cruise.
All said and done, for a ship nearly a quarter century old, she was looking quite nice. However, that veneer of elegance and culture would soon wear away.
Endless Upselling/Nickel and Diming
I need to roll the clock back a bit here. Although the review started with getting on board, the communications marketing emails before sailing were ludicrous. I wrote this in my Princess review as well; I understand most cruises are very interested in selling you packages because that is where they make most of their money. However, I have never witnessed such an aggressive marketing campaign as what they sent us.
Many lines have drinks packages, Wi-Fi packages, gratuity packages, dining packages, etc., I get it. There’s a price tag to everything. But Celebrity, they take it a step further. We were sent an email about purchasing a package nearly every day since booking the cruise almost a year ago. Not only that, but the packages themselves go “on sale” and they have variable pricing. Over that time, we observed the base price of various packages change. It’s the classic, mark it up before you mark it down tactic, now infamous on Black Friday. There are whole threads on cruise forums about getting the best deal and if the packages are really “on sale” or if the promotion is nothing more than a marketing mirage.
To illustrate the idea, here’s a scenario. A company might offer a product for $100. That product may go on sale for 10% off, making it $90. However, the company’s marketing department decides it wants to advertise a big sale but doesn’t want to lose any potential revenue. To accomplish that, it marks the price up to $150 but then runs a 33% sale, reducing the price to $100. Technically, it’s “on sale” but it isn’t a discount from the typical price. It’s deceptive practices like these that make it a nightmare for consumers.
A sculpture from the aft stairwell. In my opinion, this is an apt image when discussing these packages…
Marketing campaigns like this hit our inboxes frequently from Celebrity, even more so the closer the cruise got. We also received push notifications from the cruise line’s app, trying to get us to buy addons.
The upselling and addons don’t end there though. Once you’re on the ship, now the staff has a captive audience. I’ve been upsold on cruises before, most of the time it’s a pretty soft sell these days. In the past, I’m told, the upselling was much harder on many lines, but now it doesn’t seem quite so bad. Not on Celebrity, they’re as hard as I could imagine about selling you “upgrades.”
At every single meal in the dining room, breakfast, lunch, or dinner, save for the last 36 hours on the voyage, we were pressured to make a reservation at one of the paid restaurants. First it was for Le Petite Chef, an interesting concept of an animated dinner table geared for kids (at least it looks like it’s geared for kids). Then it was the Tuscan Grill, their onboard steakhouse. After that it was for Sushi on 5, a sushi bar on deck 5. Specifically, they really wanted us to go to their sushi restaurant on a special lunch where they were serving Indian cuisine. I really must give Celebrity credit here because, somehow, they just knew that whenever I want sushi, I actually want Indian…
This is Indian on 5, I mean Sushi on 5. It’s so confusing.
We were going to try Sushi on 5, we planned for it beforehand, but after two days of unending pressure to make a reservation, we didn’t want to go. I’ve worked in sales. I was good at it too. I outsold everyone in the region, after being there only a month. My point is, I know how to sell something to a person. I’ve never used hard sales tactics, and I never will. It doesn’t work on most people and on the people it does work on, they’re just too embarrassed to tell you, “No, I don’t want that.”
The shops were less pushy about buying something than the people at restaurants were about getting you to eat anywhere other than where you were. I don’t blame the staff; I know that management is likely pushing them for quotas or something. Nevertheless, it made for a deeply uncomfortable dining experience every time. When between 1-4 people try to sell you something while you are eating, it isn’t pleasant.
Now, let’s talk some more about those packages…
Package Comparison
I cannot find publicly available pricing for any packages offered. Celebrity does not seem to list them on their site and will only list them after you’ve selected a cruise date. There’s no easy way to compare how much one person is paying for a package to what another person is paying. And mark my words, it will be different from one cabin or sailing to the next.
Drinks Packages
Celebrity doesn’t make it very easy to compare because of their variable pricing, but here’s the basics.
Classic Drinks Package
- You can get a variety of beers, spirits, cocktails, liqueurs, frozen drinks, and wines by the glass. You also get 15% off all wines by the bottle.
- Price is somewhere in the neighborhood of $90/person/day.
Premium Drinks Package
- Specialty coffees and teas, craft and artisanal beers, spirits, cocktails, frozen drinks, Coca Cola products, premium bottled water, and wines by the glass. You’ll also receive a 20% discount off all bottles of wine.
- Price is somewhere in the neighborhood of $110/person/day.
Zero Proof Package
- You get juices, premium coffees and teas, and bottled water.
- Price is somewhere in the neighborhood of $35/person/day.
Which should you choose? That all depends on what you want to drink. If you love to drink a basic light beer while you relax, then the Classic is the way to go. However, if you want cocktails or decent wine, then the Premium is the best bet (I looked at the cocktails and mixing liquor available to the Classic package and it wasn’t impressive). If you don’t drink much, like one or two drinks a day, then just get the Zero Proof and pay for alcohol as you go – you’ll save money.
The Tuscan Grille. An additional fee allows you to dine here.
There are some catches, though, because of course there are.
If you like a sparkling water or Red Bull, those aren’t included in the Classic package. Nor are premium coffees or teas. Same goes for the juices and smoothies available in the Solarium (which were quite good). So, don’t be caught off guard by that. The Classic package does not include everything from the Zero Proof. If it did, I might have picked it up, but I didn’t and saved a lot of money by just ordering a drink when I felt like it. Even at the outrageous prices of a ship, ordering two or three cocktails a day would still be cheaper than getting the package. If that’s closer to how you drink, just do that.
Internet Packages
No Wi-Fi is included in the base fare, in case you were wondering. If you want internet on the ship, you gotta give.
There’s the Basic Wi-Fi package. Celebrity says it’s good for browsing, messaging and email. Apparently, this cannot be purchased individually, it can only be purchased as part of the All Included package.
After that is the Premium Wi-fi package, which says it’s good for streaming, social media posting, and video calls. I can confirm that these claims were true for our cruise on the Constellation.
Pricing is variable, obviously, for these plans, but I’ve seen anywhere from $15 to $25/day
Then there are overlapping packages that cover multiple areas.
The Premiere Access package gets you early boarding, covers room services fees, and includes the Premium Wi-Fi. It costs, somewhere in the neighborhood of, $25/day.
This was a nice touch when we stopped at Key West. These were dropped in my room complimentary. I don’t know if that’s a Concierge exclusive or not.
The All Included Package gets you basic Wi-Fi and the premium drinks package for somewhere in the neighborhood of $85/day.
Either of those may represent value to you if were purchasing certain things anyway.
Here’s the takeaway though, Celebrity obfuscates the packages because they want to be able to get the most money from you. Transparent pricing and structures are nowhere to be found. When I look at other lines, I can see what things cost. Princess, for example, has clear and consistent pricing on their Plus and Premiere packages. Virgin has no drinks packages and offers consistent bonuses for Bar Tab purchases. Celebrity does its best to remove any ability to compare package pricing and value.
Further, there’s no way to see pricing on any package, other than the All Included Package, until AFTER you have booked your cruise. That means that you might not even know what your cruise will cost until after you’ve handed over money. It is impossible to give you the price of a package until you’ve already you booked the cruise.
I really dislike… no, I hate this practice. I can entertain an argument that if you are willing to pay for something, then that is what it’s worth. However, hidden pricing structures and FOMO (fear of missing out) lead to deceptive practices that prey on customers. I’ve never been a fan of any nickel and dime strategy, but this is a whole new level. Move over Uber “surge” pricing, there’s a new (old) champ in town.
Dining and Food
The most lauded part of Celebrity, going off everything that I’ve heard, is the food. For years now, I’ve heard tale of the legendary cuisine on their ships. Dazzling bars, glittering restaurants, exciting verandas. But I didn’t find any of that on the Constellation. I know that she’s an older ship and wasn’t designed to have everything that Celebrity’s modern marketing shows off, yet what was there just wasn’t good.
I’ll cop to the fact that I didn’t try the additional paid dining experiences, but after you read what the food was like, I believe that you would skip them as well.
Main Dining Hall
Our first chance to experience what Celebrity’s kitchens had to offer was at the exclusive lunch available to the Concierge cabins and to anyone who purchased the Premiere Access package. It included a butternut squash soup or Caesar salad to start, then a choice of salmon, chicken, short ribs, or whole wheat pasta.
The whole wheat pasta from the welcoming lunch.
We tried everything but the salmon, I’m the only one who liked fish in our group, and I wasn’t in the mood for it. The soup was decent, nothing to write home about, but it was enjoyable if small. To the kitchen’s credit, the soups throughout the journey were always adequate to pretty good, never fantastic, but never bad either.
The Caesar, as it turns out, was a menu staple, available at every meal. Unfortunately, its flavor was very muted. The tangy yet savory nature of a Caesar dressing was, at best, a subtle whisper of itself. As though someone waved an anchovy over some egg yolks and then said to them, “There, I think you all have an idea of that flavor.”
Main dishes were the first deep disappointment. The fries with the chicken were, as described by one of us in the moment, more akin to mashed potatoes than French fries. The penne was somewhat gummy, one might call it mealy. It was something that I chalked up to the whole wheat element, but that, as I learned later, wasn’t the problem. Last, the short ribs were the closest thing to enjoyable we had. The couscous was well handled, and the carrots weren’t overdone. The ribs themselves were muted in flavor but were well cooked.
The chocolate cake and apple pie were pretty sad. The cake was fine for cake, neither good nor bad. It was about the same quality you get at an office birthday party when someone picked the cake up from your local supermarket. The apple pie was just bad though. Flavorless apples, very watery inside, soggy crust. There wasn’t even any of that wonderful, caramelized filling that you get when you make a proper apple pie – it tasted like thinned applesauce.
The apple pie. There’s no gooeyness like there should be.
We all figured that it was the first meal, a lunch for early boarding groups, it couldn’t possibly be the best they had to offer. Oh, how naïve we were.
When we got around to dinner that night, we were looking forward to a proper meal from the renowned Celebrity chefs. We had a jerk chicken, linguine with clam sauce, and a ravioli. I wanted both the ravioli and the clams but couldn’t decide, so my table mates all agreed to share in the clams. This is where things started to go completely wrong.
I ordered the ravioli and received four of them. That’s it. That’s the whole dish. Four ravioli.
For a fleeting moment I thought, “Ah, Celebrity has more modest portions.” But I could not possibly imagine how wrong I was. Because, just a moment later, the jerk chicken was set down in front of one of our dinner mates and it was half a chicken. Half a chicken.
Half. A. Chicken.
Just for one dish.
I would use half a chicken to make dinner for four people, not one plate. Most of the dish went to waste because it was too much. Meanwhile, I’m across the table happy that I had ordered two entrees. But my relief quickly faded as I tried the pasta and once again found my mouth filled with playdough. The clam sauce was just water and the clams were… fine. I guess.
Lest you think it stops there, later that night our dinner mate threw up, quite a lot, and was feeling ill since dinner. I can’t pinpoint the cause, but vomiting up one’s dinner is rarely a compliment to the chef.
This is a main course? How is four ravioli a serving?
Neither dinners nor lunch got better. The breads were borderline stale. Nothing had flavor, ever. We so dreaded going to dinner at night, that we skipped the final meal and ordered room service – which was better because I didn’t have to get dressed up for it.
Which brings me to the staff in the dining room. As I’ve already recounted, multiple times per meal, between 2-4 staff would try to sell us on going to another restaurant. Maybe it’s just me, but I’d rather not have dinner interrupted by a poorly rehearsed sales pitch. The staff weren’t into it either. You could watch the life drain from their eyes as they started in on it.
The blank, passionless faces as server or manager tried to get us to spend more money just reeked of desperation. They hated it. We hated it. It made us all uncomfortable. We would be having a nice chat about something as we drank our beverages when, out of nowhere, someone would approach the table and ask us, “Do you like Indian food?”
We would blink back at them, wondering where on Earth this question had come from, and inevitably reply, “What?”
They would repeat, “Do you like Indian food?”
“Yes, we do. Why?” our response went.
They then confidently stated, “You should go to our Sushi restaurant. Let me book you a table.”
We weren’t interested at making that reservation right then so we would say, “No, thank you.”
But the pitch would continue, each time, until we gave a hard “No, we don’t want that.”
How is half a chicken a serving?
It didn’t help that we encountered more managers trying to sell us something than we did checking on our meal. In fact, at one point, a group of 4 managers stood next to our table, talking away about something, looking at one another’s phones. While they stood there, we had been brought our food, but the assistant waiter had taken all our silverware, which meant we had nothing to eat with. So, we sat there for nearly ten minutes before an assistant server from another table checked on us and discovered the problem. The entire time, the managers just stood there, not noticing an entire table not eating, right next to them. We had even been waving at them.
At other times staff behaved oddly about the menu and dishes. Once, our waiter brought us a shrimp scampi plate to share. We hadn’t ordered it because none of us really cares for shrimp. He simply set it down and told us to try it. When it wasn’t eaten, he glowered at us and said, “I guess you didn’t like the shrimp.”
Another waiter forced me to order a side of lobster, which I do like from time to time but wasn’t really in the mood for. He just became so pushy I eventually acquiesced to his demand that I consume a crustacean.
That same waiter tried to tell me that I shouldn’t order a dish, but not by telling me that it wasn’t good. Rather he asked me 5 times if I was sure I wanted the dish, which was a butternut squash and farro dish. When I ate it, he approached me and asked, if I liked it and I said, “Yes, it was the best dish I’ve had here,” which was true.
I wish they’d cautioned me against this one. The clam sauce is just water…
“Oh, well most guests hate it,” was his odd and curt reply. I suppose I can appreciate a waiter trying to stop me from making a mistake, but I would rather a waiter trust my taste to guide me in choosing a dish, rather than trying to “fix” it for me before I’ve tasted it. Yes, I may send a dish back, but it’s just a better experience for the guest that way. Not to mention, why are you putting a dish on the menu that the servers know most guests to hate?
Multiple times staff tried to assure us that things weren’t going to be spicy, and they never were to our mouths. We were told the butter chicken had a little heat, but not too much. It was the mildest butter chicken I ever had. The same was true of the jerk chicken from the first night.
Weirdly, the dishes were even short of salt, desperately short. Nothing came salted. Not the butter. Nor the fries. Not even the sauces or soups. None of it.
Save for one, single, red potato half served with salmon one night. That potato had enough sodium in it to make jerky from the fish. I could have mummified the dinner with nothing but one, starchy, hemisphere.
Perhaps the worst sin of all is that dinner was long. Agonizingly long. When the food is excellent and the service attentive, a long meal is something to be savored. Why, a dinner itself can be the evening’s entertainment. But, when the cuisine is poor and the service more concerned with selling you a different meal than ensuring you have silverware, it’s another matter entirely.
The blandest fries ever.
Each meal was typically 2 and a half hours. That’s long for a dinner by almost any measure. And, when all you have to look forward to is another bland dish and a roulette wheel of which person will ask you about booking specialty dining, 2.5 hours drags on, ad nauseum, rather literally as happened that one night…
Major Problem
This part is so concerning that I need to point it out separately. One night, at dinner, we ordered our usual round of mocktails. We ordered the same mocktail from the menu each night. The listed drink, a Strawberry Fizz, never changed so it was easy to keep ordering it. Typically, we ordered three rounds over the course of the 2.5-hour meal. However, there was one time when our non-alcoholic drinks were alcoholic. They had been made with vodka in them.
Before you start thinking, “Well, that’s kind of a freebie then, isn’t it?”, no, it isn’t. If you order a non-alcoholic beverage, that’s what you expect. There are many reasons a person might order something without alcohol. They may be a recovering alcoholic, it could be for religious reasons, medical reasons, even personal taste.
That drink could have been served to a child and a child would not have known that it was spiked because they wouldn’t know what that tastes like. It would taste funny to them, but perhaps not funny enough to stop drinking.
Serving alcohol in a non-alcoholic drink is, perhaps, the worst sin a bartender can make. It’s potentially quite dangerous and it may even break the law. I know it’s unintentional, but it’s completely unacceptable. This event alone gave me deep fears about sailing this line and the attention they pay to their food and drink preparation.
A Strawberry Fizz.
Buffet
Before you ask, no, the buffet wasn’t better.
One morning, when trying to get some cereal, a staff member picked up the dispenser and carried it away, never to return. Some stations were served by staff, others were self-serve. Whichever it was, it was never clearly indicated because every station had open fronts to the buffet, indicating self-service. That’s not to mention the apparent understaffing by the line. Often, I would see no more than 2 people working at any given half of the buffet. Their duties seemed to cover everything from restocking, to serving, to cooking. It was a mess.
At another moment, I watched a staff member put a pizza out for the buffet and, in doing so, knocked the serving tongs onto the floor, in front of a guest. Rather than being bothered, the guest simply picked them up and used them. The diner behind the first guest gladly took the same tongs and used them again, even after watching the whole thing unfold. Nothing says food safety like “floor-tongs.”
While I recognize that I could have just been unlucky with the time of my visits, it isn’t a good look. No other line I’ve sailed delivered that sort of experience.
The buffet also has a made-to-order pasta bar and here is an example of the quality:
This is, allegedly, alfredo. It came from their made to order pasta bar.
I’ve dubbed this dish, alfredo noodle soup.
Looks more like soup to me.
There was simply nothing that tasted good here. Every meat was dry. The eggs were always runny AND dry. The bread was often stale. I witnessed unsanitary practices and, based on my experience as the ServSafe certified staff for a restaurant I worked at for 3 years, I saw many things that, in my opinion, a health inspector would have issues with, were this a restaurant in my area.
Given this recent report, I can’t say I’m surprised. Yes, that is about a Royal Caribbean ship, but Celebrity is owned by Royal Caribbean. As a capstone, here is what I wrote in my Princess Cruises review about buffets:
- They’re wasteful. Much of the food that gets made for a buffet gets thrown away during service turnover from one meal to the next.
- Buffets encourage people to mill about, looking at what food there is before they take any. They slowly and aimlessly wander between one island of food to another, all the while unaware of their surroundings. I can’t even blame the people for this, it’s the unintentional result of the basic design of buffets.
- They’re dirty and unsanitary. You are constantly touching the same serving utensils that hundreds of other people have been touching without washing the utensil in between each person.
Norovirus is the most common disease spread on cruise ships, and it often is spread by feces (that’s poop).
I’ll let you make the connection between those two statements.
For these reasons and many more besides, I immediately hate all buffets, and I discourage people from going to them if it can be avoided.
Remember, I go so you don’t have to.
Café Al Bacio and Gelateria
I was so disappointed in both locations.
The treats from the Cafe look good, but aren’t.
The Café was run abysmally. My first job as a college student was as a barista. I learned how to time espresso shots, how to maintain the machines, and the correct amount of espresso to put in the portafilter. I was steeped in the refined practices of procuring caffeine. This café violated everything I learned. I won’t bother enumerating all the various violations, rather I will simply state the most consistent and egregious violation.
Multiple times, I watched the staff pull shots of espresso and let them sit, waiting until someone ordered a drink. The shots would just sit there, getting cold, until someone ordered a latte or something else. Not only does a hot food item increase the risk of foodborne illness as it cools, but cold espresso loses all its flavor.
This means that not only was it dangerous, but it also made for bad drinks. Made even more offensive by the fact that they were using good espresso! All of this was done to save seconds, SECONDS, for an order. This wasn’t a drive through, it was a cruise ship. People are on vacation. Waiting for a well-made latte should be a high point of the day. I don’t want my drink to be rushed out slop that not even Tim Horton’s would serve.
As for the Gelateria, it was somehow even more poorly run. Everyone who is part of the Captain’s Club, Celebrity’s loyalty program, is given one complimentary scoop of gelato each voyage. It isn’t much, but it’s still gelato. When we tried to take Celebrity up on the benefit, we almost couldn’t.
The gelato was good, I just wish it didn’t take 20 minutes before a staff member showed up.
We went to the Gelateria and there was no one behind the counter. We then checked the hours of operation, and it was indeed open. Five minutes passed, then ten. At about fifteen minutes we figured that, at this point, it’s now a curiosity – how long will we have to wait. Near the twenty-minute mark, a young woman, in a Celebrity uniform, came over and asked if we were waiting for the gelato. We said yes and she then told us something that stunned me.
“I don’t work in this area, but sometimes the person who works the gelato station just disappears. I don’t know where they go but they go away for long stretches. I’m going to help you though.”
I really appreciate this staff member. She was going beyond her job to make something right. But that shouldn’t be necessary, and it really made me question what, exactly, was going on with this ship?
Poolside Grill
What can I say about a grill that serves nothing but hotdogs, burgers, and fries? I should love it. Despite what you might think based on my snarky remarks, there are few things I love more than a nice burger and fries. That’s why it’s sad that I didn’t even like this place. The quality aspires to McDonalds. The ole’ Golden Arches laughs, mockingly, at the pitiful state of this grill.
That’s where the Poolside Grill is. You can tell, because it’s at the side of the pool.
If you read the above, you already know the fries were unsalted and mushy. You will find no crispy refuge of salty delight here.
The burgers were the finest that your local middle school cafeteria has to offer. If that appeals to you, wonderful. Bon voyage!
The hot dogs were the best thing here, but the bar was quite low. I can’t say anything else about them. It’s a hot dog.
Both the hot dogs and burgers were cooked en masse and then stored in warming pans. Unless you got lucky and timed it right, you would never get a fresh one. That means that they were all rubbery.
AquaSpa Cafe
This is in the solarium, which is a nice space, I just wish the food was. We tried a bowl of udon noodles and they were paste as well. It’s clear that no one on the Constellation has any idea about how to cook noodles of any variety.
They also had some cut fruit there, which was… fine. It’s cut fruit.
The smoothies from here were quite good though!
Blu and Luminae
These two are exclusive restaurants on the ship. Blu is for guests in Aqua class, while Luminae is for guests in suites. While I was onboard, I didn’t qualify for either restaurant because we were in Concierge class. However, as I mentioned at the start of the article, Gretchen and Karen were upgraded into an Aqua Class room and they did eat at Blu.
Although we couldn’t eat here, Luminae looked quite nice.
According to them, they recount a similar experience with foods around their ship, the Silhouette. Bland, unsalted food everywhere. Poor service, with pushy sales from servers and managers. They, too, did not enjoy the main dining room.
Blu, however, was excellent by their standards. They recalled the food there would hold up as a restaurant in any major city in the US. Further, the staff in the restaurant did not push them to buy another meal somewhere else on the ship.
By their reckoning, if you are sailing a Celebrity ship, it’s worth paying for Aqua class just to have good food. They even commented that the food at Blu was better than the other paid, premium restaurants.
Rooms
The room that we had was a Concierge class balcony room. There were three of us traveling, so two were in the bed and one was in the pullout bed from the couch. All of us are adults.
Beds
I do not know if the beds on a Celebrity ship are standard across the fleet, but in our cabin on the Constellation, the bed was neither good nor bad. It was comfortable enough to last a week on. It wasn’t nearly as comfortable as the bed I had on Princess, in an inside cabin. Nor was it any more comfortable than a bed on Virgin, which I described as, “the most comfortable futon.” The pillows that came with the cabin were natural down pillows. If you have an allergy to down, you will want to talk with your cabin attendant.
Concierge Class rooms do come with a “pillow menu,” which has three choices for pillows that will be provided in addition to the down pillows. Since sleep is one of those things that we firmly believe you should not mess around with too much, we all opted for the type of pillow that suited us best for sleep, rather than choose a different one for review purposes. As it happens, we all chose the “Swedish Isotonic” pillow, Celebrity’s equivalent of a Tempur-Pedic pillow. Aside from being a tad small for my taste, it was comfortable. I’m not sure it’s that much of a selling point by the end of the day, literally, but it did enhance my experience.
The view into the room from the entry area.
As for the linens, they were pleasant. I found them to be comfortably heavy but breathable. Now, I was sleeping directly under the AC vent, which may have colored my perception. Our cabin mate, who slept on the fold out bed from the sofa, said he was overheating most nights. Everyone is different though, so your milage may vary.
Celebrity may not have the nicest beds I’ve ever had on a ship, but I slept well, and my scoliosis wasn’t bothered by the mattress.
TVs, Stateroom Entertainment, Room Service
Something that’s become a standard in recent years are onboard entertainment systems. If you’ve flown on a plane since about 2015, you’ve likely had some sort of seatback screen or streaming video available on your phone. It’s also become a standard on cruise ships. Many of them have in-room streaming movies and series that you can call up with your remote. Not on the Constellation.
The TV in the room was small. I didn’t measure it but I’m guessing it was around 24”. It was an old LG with a fairly low picture quality. Not that the quality mattered much. All the TV had was 4 news channels, a few sports channels, and a strange channel that showed a smattering of different movies and TV series. It didn’t really bother me much, but I know how some families look forward to these sorts of entertainment services, so be aware. For the sake of clarity, I don’t know if the internal systems of the Constellation could even be upgraded to handle that, since it is nearly 25 years old, or if Celebrity has chosen not to make those upgrades.
It was a very small TV.
If you’re the type of person that likes to relax in their room and watch some movies, I strongly recommend getting the premium Wi-Fi.
Room service was better than expected. While some lines have upgraded to have room service on the app, that wasn’t the case with the Constellation. Orders to room service had to be made with the phone in the room. Not really a big deal, but it lacks the convenience of the app system. Surprisingly, the room service food was often better than other places on the ship. I don’t know why, but it was.
We took advantage of the breakfast several times, since we had early excursions. Orders were placed using a card that you placed on the door by 2AM each night. Deliveries were prompt and they would even follow directions for small extras; we asked for extra cream with the coffee, and we got that.
It wasn’t just breakfast that we tried, we also did dinner with it. Although the menu was limited, what we received was better than the main dining room or buffet. I’m going to chalk it up to the possibility of the food being made closer to the time of serving. Now, don’t misunderstand, the food still wasn’t good. The fries were mushy and unsalted, the burgers were rubbery, but the pasta was less starchy and pasty.
The service was also prompt. We rarely waited more than 30 minutes for food. When we pre-booked our breakfast deliveries they were always on time. Because we had the Premiere Access package, our costs for using room service were covered, so I found a lot of value there. I would say that using the room service is a high point for Celebrity and a must do on days with early excursions.
Bathroom
Fairly basic toilet
The bathroom was roomier than I was expecting, which was a nice surprise. Overall, though, it wasn’t the most pleasant space; the light inside wasn’t inviting to say the least. The panel that hid the lightbulbs above the mirror had several small black dots on the inside. These were either dead bugs or some sort of mold spot growing on the other side. The color temperature, a fluorescent blue, made it feel like a dank highway rest stop in the 90s. The fixtures were in decent shape, but I found the trash to be odd. It was a pullout bin that was never given a liner by the attendant. In videos I’ve seen, these are supposed to be given a liner bag, but our attendant apparently missed that memo.
The shower was supplied with Celebrity’s premium line of shower amenities. I thought they were fine. Not bad, better than most hotels, but not as good as some other lines. It was certainly better than what I found in Princess’ standard bathroom amenities, but not as good as Virgin’s.
More importantly, the shower was roomy, I had lots of space to move around. The shower head was adjustable, both in the type of stream made and it was on a slider to control height. It could also be used as a wand. However, the curtain did almost nothing to keep the water in. It was a cloth curtain, so water running through it was commonplace. We also noticed that the tiles in the shower floor were loose and several even came up during our time on the ship. It doesn’t bode well for the quality of the shower, especially in the long run of a year or two.
The adjustable shower head was actually quite nice.
Cabin Layout, Surfaces, and Outlets
We had a typical balcony stateroom layout. As far as I could tell, there was no additional space for booking in Concierge. When you enter the cabin, the bathroom will either be on your left or right and the closet and drawers opposite.
The bed comes next as you walk through the room. Queen size and, I believe, it is made of two separate mattresses so you can arrange it as one bed or two smaller beds. Each side is flanked by a nightstand and lamp. The drawers in the nightstand proved to be necessary for three adults when it came to clothes storage. The TV was near the bed, not that we used it much, and it sat on top of a cupboard that contained the cabin’s mini fridge. It’s worth noting that the door to the mini fridge was falling off its hinges, which isn’t a good look.
Past the bed there was a series of little storage shelves that we put some odds and ends in. Then comes the sofa directly across from the desk with a chair. The desk was the only flat surface in the room, and it saw a lot of use. On either side of it there was a storage cabinet, which couldn’t be accessed if the sofa bed was out. Make sure that you get anything you want out of them before putting the sofa bed out if you are using it.
The desk for the room and the only, practical, flat surface.
The only outlets in the room are one behind the TV and two on the desk. There’s nothing by the bed, so don’t go looking. I’ve covered how this is a pain before and indeed it was a pain for us. Trying to keep devices charged was a struggle, even though I have a 80w USB hub that I quite like. Between smart watches, phones, a camera, and laptops, we were always swapping stuff in and out.
The balcony was nothing special, two chairs and a small table, but they were well kept up. I saw only a few rust spots, which is impressive for a ship this old, which spends its life on the ocean. If you like spending time on your balcony, you’ll be happy with this.
Onboard Entertainment and Facilities
Celebrity focuses on musical performances, at least that’s what I saw the most of. The majority of the shows on our ship were musical in nature and there was one standup comic. The theater space is lovely. The seats are comfortable and there’s lots of them. However, we had a hard time actually seeing the shows.
What I’m about to write is so odd, I’m still not sure that I believe it myself. We found that the printed itineraries, placed in our room by Celebrity staff, had the wrong times on them. We tried to go see a show and there was nothing in the theater. It wasn’t just us either, several other people we ran into had the same problem.
This is the theater.
I suppose that something could have been printed wrong, it’s the most likely explanation after all. I can only imagine that several rooms received old information or perhaps incorrect information. But we did find that on several days of our trip, the printed itineraries did not match up with the actual time of events.
The performances that we did catch were the ones in the wine bars, directly outside the main dining room. Each night, there would be a performing group set up in the lounges to perform music for the bar. A dance floor invited guests to dance, which they did. To be frank, this is one of the highlights from Celebrity. The music was always covers, but that’s what people want. There was a wide variety and the musicians were quite talented. I enjoyed having a drink before dinner, listening to some music, watching people happily twirl their night away.
Celebrity clearly put their energy into the public spaces. The tables, chairs, and decorations were all quite nice. They have a blend of modern sophistication mixed with the rich wood motifs of the late 90s. There were lots of corners to lose an afternoon in, especially in the wine bars and the café at midship.
The Rendezvous Lounge and Cellar Masters
Both of these bars have a cozy sort of feel to them. The Rendezvous Lounge on Deck 4 would feature nightly performers and a dance floor, as I mentioned above. Cellar Masters, which focused on wine, was a bit cramped in its floorspace since Sushi on 5 was also contained there. I found the wine list on the Constellation to be lacking. If you are a wine drinker, I know that you are often disappointed when dining out, and this would have been no exception.
The Rendezvous Lounge was a nice place to wait for your dinner reservations.
I don’t believe that either of these places is worth spending much time in during the day, but at night they make for a refreshing refuge from an otherwise dull experience on the ship. Not many places have a lounge feel these days. Live music from jazz quartets or simple duos are few and far between, but they are still alive here. My only wish is that I had a decent malbec to pair it with.
Pools
There are two pool areas on the ship. One of them is open to children and the other is not, but both were lovely. The pool area that was open to everyone was right next to the Poolside Grill, hence the name. It features two larger pools and several hot tubs, all open air and in the sun. It was always very popular with guests and they typically had a DJ playing music or a cruise staff member directing a number of fun games.
The all guest pool, which was a very nice place to be.
If you are an adult you will be allowed to spend time in the other pool area. Celebrity maintains a space called the Solarium with a large and very relaxing pool in it as well as several hot tubs. I liked this area a great deal, especially on the last day of the cruise when it was raining. Since the Solarium is fully enclosed, the rain bothered no one. Of everything on the ship, this is the ONLY idea that I wish other lines would borrow from. I know that some of them do have similar spaces, but I’d like to see more.
It wasn’t really about the adults only space, although that was nice, so much as it was being enclosed. As someone who sunburns easily, being able to enjoy a pool without worrying about sun screen was wonderful! The Aqua Café was also located in the Solarium and, although the food from it was inedible, the smoothies and juices were very tasty.
The Solarium Pool, which was very nice indeed.
As a point of clarity, kids can access the Solarium, since it’s a throughway to other parts of the ship, and to access the Aqua Café. Children cannot, however, use the pool.
Trivia Games and Other Activities
One design element that just didn’t work for me was the very large Reflections Lounge at the front of the ship. They held several events there, including trivia, that we just didn’t go to because by the time we remembered it was happening it was already over. The issue is that it’s just so far removed from everything else, there’s no way that you would organically join in.
To get to the Reflections Lounge, you must go up to deck 11 and enter the fore stairwell. Then, on the starboard side, you will find it. The only other things in the area are the spa and gym, which are both one deck below, and the kid’s area on the port side of deck 11. Neither of which really beckons people to participate in things like trivia.
Speaking of the kid’s area, it includes a teen club, an arcade room, and a younger kids play area called the Fun Factory. I can’t say if they were good or not, but it’s such a small area of the ship I can’t imagine there’s much to do there. I only saw a few kids on the ship, which shouldn’t be surprising since it was mid-February and every school was likely in session. Not to mention that it’s a weeklong sailing, which always skews older anyways.
It was a nice basketball court.
Near midship, on deck 11, you will find a basketball court. It wasn’t exactly a visually appealing place, but it was rather fun to see a full basketball court on a cruise ship. Although, as I mentioned, it never seemed very popular. If you really like to shoot hoops, this is actually much better than many other cruises.
At the very aft of the ship, there is an area with cabanas and a large screen where they show movies. The movies are shown throughout the day and you simply get a seat and settle in. If you’ve gone on any other line that does movies like this though, you will be disappointed. The screen is dated, and the viewing angles are very narrow. There are also very few seats, so capacity is limited. It seemed as though you would have to camp out in the morning if you wanted a seat for the day. By comparison to other lines that do this, the experience was subpar.
The Gym and Spa
Everything’s good here. I was glad to have a nice gym to use.
There’s not much to say about the gym onboard other than it was well equipped, well maintained, and clean. I used it almost every day on the cruise and never had a bad experience. The staff is actively cleaning the machines and there are lots of signs to remind the guests that they are to do the same after AND before they use it. This is excellent gym hygiene protocol.
The cleanliness of this gym gave me no concerns. It was also kept quite cool, which every gym rat can appreciate. Although the gym wasn’t exactly a feature to book a cruise for, Celebrity earns a perfect score here, nonetheless.
The spa, which I didn’t spring for, seemed nice. From what I saw it looked comparable to any other cruise line. I rather wish I had paid for some services just so I could make a comment here, but I didn’t. This is one area that you’ll have to try yourself.
Who Is Celebrity For?
I’ve tried to answer this question, and I can’t. It doesn’t seem aimed at families, there simply weren’t enough things for kids to do. It doesn’t seem aimed at those interested in fine dining, the food and service just weren’t good enough. From my time on the Constellation, it seems aimed at people who have never cruised and won’t know that there’s something better available.
The whole ship seemed like it was playing fancy. The décor, the dress codes, the dishes, they all were playing at sophistication while offering none of it. You can’t find flavor; nothing salty, nothing sweet, nothing savory. My best guess is that a large number of clientele have sodium intake restrictions for blood pressure. If that’s the case, then I applaud the line for taking such good care of their guests – and perhaps that’s the reality.
Conclusion
Is Celebrity Cruises worth taking?
No, not in my opinion. Not from what I experienced.
I’ve heard the argument that to really experience Celebrity, you have to sail the newer ships. To that, I say, “What!?”
Why should I expect a better experience on a newer ship? Yes, I understand, time is linear, and the newer ships will have newer things and more modern features. That’s not what I’m focusing on.
What killed my experience was the food and the staff. I’m okay paying more for some better food, but Celebrity is more expensive than most lines. Therefore, I am paying more and should expect better food, but it wasn’t there. The cuisine was pathetic and the service nearly as bad.
This should be full of dark, rich notes. It looks amazing, but was tragically bland.
Anecdotally, I made some cruise friends on the ship, and they all echoed, unprompted, that the food was terrible, and the service matched it.
I’ve never been upsold, ignored, dismissed, and rushed so often as I was on the ship. Crew were downright rude to us. I realize that this may sound entitled, but this is the hospitality business. The whole point is to allow guests to relax and take care of their needs and wants. That’s why you pay the money to do this.
This was my first time on Celebrity and I won’t be going back and I cannot recommend that anyone else go either. I don’t care if the newer ships have more things to do and updated restaurants. No matter the ship in the fleet, food and service should be just as good on the flagship as anywhere else, even if there may be less variety.
I sailed on an older ship of Princess’ fleet, and I had an amazing time. The staff was remarkable, and the food was the stuff of dreams. I’d happily sail with that company again and it would likely cost me less for a better time.
Here’s a cost comparison between two similar itineraries with Princess and Celebrity.
The cruises leave on the same day from the same city and have similar stops. Both are booked for two people, in the lowest cost balcony category. I chose the All Included package on Celebrity and pre-paid the gratuities, and I chose the Princess Plus package on Princess. It’s as close to an apples-to-apples comparison as you can get. The Princess cruise is also one day shorter, so I have calculated the price on a per-person per day basis.
Let’s compare prices from two lines, Princess and Celebrity.
On Princess, it comes out to $251.17/person/day. Celebrity comes out to $298.40/person/day.
That’s just shy of $50/person/day more for a line that just showed me it cares more about getting me to buy Indian by way of sushi, than it does making sure I have utensils to eat.
I’m not going to try and talk about the value of one line over another here because value is subjective. If you really like whatever Celebrity is offering, then perhaps that price difference is worth it to you. And, if so, please, book it, enjoy yourself. But what I saw from the line didn’t make me want to sail it again.
The most frustrating part of all this is that there are things that could be great but aren’t. Celebrity’s Solarium is a wonderful space, the gym is very well kept up, the art has a touch of class. The rooms were older, yet comfortable, and the small size of the ship meant it never felt crowded. But the staff was unpleasant and pushy, and only occasionally helpful. Sometimes they were simply not there. Knowing that I’m paying a premium for this line and getting worse food and service than anything else I’ve been on leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
My best advice is, if you are thinking about Celebrity, think about something else.
